Those “You are stunning” messages can backfire.
Published Oct 30, 2017
i really believe the message is well meant.
I realize that it is a response to a tradition which makes individuals (especially ladies) feel therefore ugly, frequently. But being a psychologist and human anatomy image researcher, I also believe the“you that are ubiquitous beautiful” message is misguided at best and harmful at the worst.
First, there’s absolutely no proof that ladies struggling to appreciate their appearance really genuinely believe that message. Terms are effective, but they’re not magic. Do we really genuinely believe that the onslaught of airbrushed-to-perfection news images and also the sting of body-shaming trolls can be battled with somehow a simple, “You are beautiful”? Offered a very long time of reminders that women’s bodies are dating over 50 rarely appropriate how they are, what type of effect could realistically those words have?
Every women move around in a culture that does its level best to make them dissatisfied with what they see in the mirror day. a Post-it stuck to a mirror is unlikely to create a woman feel much better about her appearance. In reality, you will find good reasons to think it shall make her feel worse.
To begin, ladies will usually discount or disbelieve the “You are beautiful” message. Personal psychologists have actually amassed years of research demonstrating that after a message is inconsistent as to what you think, you have a tendency to produce counterarguments in reaction to it.